Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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