does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
