PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
