I love black thongs
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
