that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
