It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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