dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize