their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
