It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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