You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
