Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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