i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
