You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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