you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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