Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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