HIV tests are more positive than that guy
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
