I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
How external is "for external use only"?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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