The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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