Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
