Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Let's paint friendship bongs
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
