it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
