Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
