fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
