gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm šš»š
We are so blessed
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Couldāve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another manās cock... but there it is...
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