Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
