we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Randomize
