My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
He has the fingertips of a God
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
