drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
