took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
