I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
