But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
