Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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