Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
