maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
