do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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