While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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