Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
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