Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
