I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
