Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
well you can't waste a boner
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
