Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
