I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Randomize
