so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
we're so committed to being not committed
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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