The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
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