Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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