i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Randomize
