Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
