Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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