His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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