how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Randomize
