Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Fuck me I smell like cheese
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
