Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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