Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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