Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
