Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
