i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
