Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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