you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
