im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Randomize
