I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
