are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
