Umm I'm too high to move.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
