I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
