i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
